In the words of T-Pain, “Lemme buy you a draaaaaaank.” Approaching people at a bar can be intimidating and awkward, however, in some instances, it can be extremely rewarding. Play your cards the smart way with this ‘buy a drink 2.0’ method and you’ll be sure to to see a higher success rate.


Picture this. You’re at a bar and you see a beautiful creature of a human walk in and you want nothing more than to go up and talk to them. You go up to them, introduce yourself, buy them a drink, charm them with your wit, the conversation seems to be going well and you still go home empty-handed. This is a cliche move that can have major repercussions if it is not performed correctly. Here is an upgrade to that move.




I’m going to play this scenario out from a guy’s perspective at a bar just to simplify terms but this move can happen at a coffee shop or restaurant etc. Ladies this method applies to you too. It’s the 21st century. Shoot your shot how you want. 

The initial move:

I know some of you have your standard move to get in on a groups conversation. If that works for you keep it up. If you don’t have a move, “bump” into them or slide into the bar next to them, apologize for almost spilling their drink or make a joke about how tight the space is. THEN. YOU. FOCUS. Focus on her reaction to you apologizing or bumping into her. If she says “It’s okay,” in a kind of bland manner and turns away you might not want to waste your time because she’s probably not picking up what you’re putting down.

If she says “It’s Okay!” in a bright and cheery manner, she might be down to entertain a conversation. 

The Upgrade:

Spice girls said it best. “If you wanna be my lover, you’ve gotta get with my friends.”

Ask her what she is drinking but direct it towards her and one of her closest friends around her. 

You are going to buy two drinks for these girls. If she’s that beautiful, she is worth the investment. If you really want to impress this person buy her and at least one of her friends a drink. I don’t expect you to buy shots for the whole friend group (but if you’ve got the money it couldn’t hurt) but this shows you have an interest in her group as a whole. An added bonus: by buying her and her friend a drink this opens up your options even more if the one you had your eye on didn’t work out.  

The Conversation:

Engage in conversation with both of the ladies you bought drinks for. Ask a lot of questions. People like to talk about themselves. Ask them where they are from what they do. Don’t pry information out of them because they still have their guard up. They just met you. Stick to the basics. It takes the pressure off of you from having an awkward conversation while isolating the duo from each other and you can all play off of each other’s conversations.

PRO TIP: Ask “Why?” People will naturally become more comfortable with you because asking why signals an “I care about your answer” wave and the conversation will be more in your favor. 

You at least have an in at this point and a friendly chat to up your flirting a notch. You take the conversation from there.

Some of you might think this isn’t groundbreaking material which is totally fine. Through research and conversations, this has proven to be a really simple and effective way for guys and girls to meet. Id love to hear your success and horror stories if you give this a whirl!